Part 15

Mary continued to do things to seem to try and get me to approach her. She would send me off away from her and then ask me to spin around and face her yet again. Sometimes the forward motion that I would build as she sent me away would keep me driving forward as I faced her. I would step in closer to her almost be accident. Sometimes I would move in so quickly that I would get so close to her that I frightened myself once I stopped and I would step a few feet back to a more comfortable distance away. I still was content with our invisible line that connected us, but had no desire to make it any shorter than it already was. I was intent on facing her though, when she snapped her fingers I knew that meant I was to face her. I was certain of that.


She began walking all around the round pen, walking over things, even running. I never took my attention off her. I would whip my body around as quickly as I needed to in order to face her at all times. She would run around me so fast I would practically have to spin to keep up. Then she would step away and ask me to approach her. I would take a step or two, but no more. I was not comfortable walking all the way up to her, period. I was just not.


I did not mind her approaching me though. I had grown accustomed to her walking slowly to my right shoulder and putting her hands on me. I was ok with that. She would gradually move her hands over my body. Each time I became tense she would bring them back to that spot on the right of my neck. It was a relief when she moved her hands back there. I knew what to expect when they were there and I liked that. She even started touching my face a bit. First around my jaw and even under my throat latch to my left jaw. I was ok with this.


Then I panicked. I felt trapped, like I could not breath. My wind was being taken away from me. Mary have brushed her hand across my muzzle and it send me into a panic. I shot away from her, thinking of how I just had managed to save myself from certain death. I know I need air to breath. I was not able to be ignorant enough to allow her to block my wind. I am no fool.


As I shot away, contemplating my near death experience, I saw her step away as well. Once again, even in the flurry of my fear, it draw me back in. I had become quite used to that move. I knew when she moved away from me like that, I was to fill the space, to met her back in the middle. She was always kind and quite when I would do so. She was the same every time. I liked that.


As horses we can not breath through our mouths like two leggeds or cats or dogs do. We can only breath through our nose. Imagine if you felt your nose being pinched and your airway cut off. You would open your mouth and breath in I suppose, assuming you are a two legged that is. I imagine you are. Well, I can not do that, when my nostrils are covered and I can not breath in air, I have no way to breath at all. Naturally this panics me, it would any horse with the slighted desire to live. When I felt Mary's hands brush over my muzzle that is all I could think of. It felt as if something was going to block my wind. It was terrifying.When terrified I flee, as any sensible hose would.


We were back as before, standing side by side, her hand on my neck. She continued to pass her hand over my muzzle. Each time she would do it was quick. She slipped her hand across my muzzle then immediately moved her hand back to my neck. Each time I became a bit more at ease with her hand there. She never did try to cut my wind off, even though I was terrified she would. Rightfully so I do believe. No she would just quickly pass her hand over where I was most concerned, my muzzle and settle back to my neck. I finally became less worried over it and she began leaving her hand on my nose longer each time. Until, she just left it there, resting over my nose. We stood quietly like that listening to one another breath and feeling the quiet energy from one anothers body.